


to me, it's only you

by manohman (markohmark)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - America, Alternate Universe - High School, Confessions, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, THEY'RE DUMB ok, i guess?, renjun voice: markhyuck is endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 07:06:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11823678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/markohmark/pseuds/manohman
Summary: He turned to face Mark, and there they were together, so close he couldn’t think straight. “I love you,” Donghyuck said reflexively. “I mean. Um.” He just stared at Mark. They were still close enough to hear each other breathing.Mark’s face went from surprise to something much more unreadable and back, finally settling on disbelief. “You’re seriously the worst,” he said. Then he let out a chuckle, sounding kind of--odd.(alternatively, mark and donghyuck don't talk for eight months and figure out why)





	to me, it's only you

**Author's Note:**

> a/n:  
> i tried to do non-linear stuff.. ehh
> 
> inspired by the famous markhyuck moment where donghyuck's like "i love you" and mark's like "-_- you're seriously the worst"
> 
> title from nct dream's "my first and last"

“Hey,” Donghyuck says. It’s enough to make Mark whirl around, startled, and upon seeing Donghyuck’s face he tenses, then relaxes, then tenses again. If this was eight months ago, Donghyuck thinks, a common start to most of his thoughts these days, then Mark wouldn’t have been surprised at all. Instead, they would’ve walked to their elementary school playground together, and sit side by side on the swings, and their conversation would’ve been punctuated by short bouts of comfortable silence.  
  
“Hey,” Mark replies, looking guarded and wary. He’s leaning against a playground slide. There’s silence after that, but it’s about as far from comfortable as possible. It’s really fucking awkward.  
  
  
  
The reason why Donghyuck is attempting to meet up with his once-best friend, Mark Lee, after eight months of avoiding eye contact and not really speaking and being generally awkward, is fairly convoluted.  
  
Donghyuck had been walking along with Jeno and his new boyfriend, Renjun--mostly in order to ‘vet’ Renjun, or whatever it was friends were supposed to do--in Renjun’s posh neighborhood when Donghyuck saw a sign that said  _MARK LEE REAL ESTATE_. He couldn’t help it, it was almost reflexive after nine-years-minus-eight-months of being best friends with Mark.  
  
Donghyuck snapped a photo on his phone, then immediately regretted it. A couple paces ahead of him, Jeno was looking back with an all-knowing smile and Renjun was watching along curiously.  
  
“Do you have a friend named Mark Lee?” Renjun asked innocently, obliviously. It was jarring for Donghyuck. It was jarring to know that for some well-meaning almost-stranger, he wasn’t known as MarkandDonghyuck, half of one whole, but as simply Donghyuck, expected to stand alone on his own two feet.  
  
“I don’t know,” Donghyuck replied. “If we’re--friends, I mean. It’s been a,” he exhaled, “long time since I’ve talked to him.”  
  
“Yeah,” Jeno agreed quietly. “Are you gonna send it to him?” he asked.  
  
Donghyuck didn’t notice before, but Renjun and Jeno were holding hands in a way that made him feel a little sad and a little envious.  
  
“What?” he asked blankly. He had been too busy staring at Renjun and Jeno’s linked hands and wondering what it would be like if him and Mark were in their place.  
  
“The sign, I mean,” Jeno gestured to it with his free hand, Renjun nodding in agreement. “You already took a picture.”  
  
“That’s kinda dumb,” Donghyuck said, considering what would happen if Mark just ignored his text or, even worse, left him on read.  
  
“As long as you’re talking to him, somehow, right?” Renjun asked, surprisingly wise. “Even if it’s dumb.”  
  
So Donghyuck had sent the picture along with a carefully typed  _lol,_  and about two minutes later he had been texting Mark for the first time in eight months. He might’ve walked into a mailbox or two while walking, typing, and grinning like a fool.  
  
It wasn’t like Donghyuck completely neglected his job of ‘vetting Renjun’, though. He still dutifully read aloud all the threats the hyungs sent him in the group chat, most of them jokingly along the lines of “you hurt Jeno, we hurt you.” Their hyungs were usually dumb and useless, honestly, but they could be really scary and overprotective when they wanted to be. Even Sicheng sent along something in Mandarin that made Renjun’s face turn white when Donghyuck showed it to him.  
  
Then, of course, in the middle of teasing a flustered Renjun and disapproving Jeno, Mark had texted him a  _Can we meet up tomorrow? At the playground?_

  
  
Which brings Donghyuck here. To the playground of their old elementary school, where they met for the first time during a whole-school Games Day. Donghyuck had gotten lost from the rest of his group, and Mark, a grade older, a year wiser, had easily been able to steer him to where he needed to be.  
  
Donghyuck is used to Mark meaning safety, meaning comfort for him. Right now, he feels like he’s on one of those fraying rope bridges between two cliffs from the movies, about to crash and burn on the rocks below.  
  
Donghyuck clings for his life with two hands. “Long time, no see,” he says casually, sitting down on a swing. He’s always been practiced at hiding how he really feels.  
  
“Yeah,” Mark says, eyes narrowing. He still sits down on the swing adjacent to Donghyuck’s, though, idly moving his legs back and forth. “Who’s fault was that?”  
  
Donghyuck wants to argue and protest, wants to say that it’s Mark’s fault, but really, it’s his. It was always his fault, for being greedy and wanting more than just their friendship.

  
  
Donghyuck realized he had feelings for Mark in this terrible, terrible way that was funny from anyone else’s point of view and miserable from his own perspective. It had been the summer before seventh grade, and Mark was away at some six-week summer camp.  
  
This was before Donghyuck knew Jeno or Jaemin, so he opted to hang around his hyungs--this was Mark’s brother and all of his friends, who mostly played League or played no-rules soccer or watched NBA; Donghyuck preferred playing Vainglory and basketball and watching Messi and Ronaldo verse each other on the field. It was the longest time they had ever been apart since the time they first met.  
  
Donghyuck had been updating Mark frequently with pictures of his hyungs and screenshots of League scores, but they hadn’t really shared any pictures of each other. Which is why, upon heading over to Mark’s house the day he came back from camp, it took a good minute for Donghyuck to recognize who opened the door.  
  
Somehow, over the course of six weeks, Mark had changed. Maybe it was his newfound height, maybe it was the way he smiled, maybe it was the fact that Donghyuck had gone six weeks without him, but in the mid-afternoon light Mark practically glowed. It was something out of those animes Yuta and Taeyong watched. It was the most life-altering, terrible, thing to ever happen to twelve-year-old Donghyuck.  
  
The spell was ruined, of course, once Mark opened his mouth and asked Donghyuck why he was staring, but the after-effects still lingered. The next couple years after that were spent shoving his feelings and attraction towards Mark down to his knees and covering it up with jokes and pranks.

  
  
Even now, it isn’t working too well. “Yeah, well,” Donghyuck starts, deflating after two words. “You were distancing yourself anyways.”  
  
Mark looks down at the ground. “You were getting busy anyway, going on dates and everything,” he says, shoes scuffing the wood chips beneath his feet.  
  
“What the hell?” Donghyuck asks, baffled. As if he’d go on a date with anyone who wasn’t Mark-fucking-Lee. “If I went on a date, I think I’d be the first to know.”  
  
Mark grimaces. “What do you call whatever happened with you and Chan, then?” he counters, the corners of his mouth twisting unhappily.  
  


  
In retrospect, maybe Chan asking Donghyuck to watch his Michael Jackson dance routine ‘for a second pair of eyes’ seemed a little suspect. But at the time, Donghyuck didn’t think much of it. Sure, it was more common for them to hang out together with Mark--Chan was closer with him, age-wise, and Donghyuck simply knew Mark better--but Donghyuck knew that Mark often got sick of them being such Michael Jackson fanboys. Mark preferred his hip-hop, liked talking about rap with Hansol (Chwe, not Ji) instead.  
  
Whatever. It wasn’t like Donghyuck was jealous or anything, even though Donghyuck listened to Kendrick Lamar and Chance the Rapper just as often as he listened to Michael Jackson, just for Mark. Definitely not.  
  
Donghyuck didn’t even think it was that strange that Chan and him went to the nearest cafe for frappes afterwards. Mark did that with him, sometimes, after at basketball practice; Donghyuck would work on his homework, sitting on the risers, and they’d walk home together, drinks in their hands.  
  
It was generous of Chan to pay for both of them, sure, but Donghyuck paid for Mark and vice versa all the time. Similarly, when Chan took a selfie with the two of them and posted it on his Snapchat story, Donghyuck only thought of how many times he’d done the same with Mark.  
  
At the time, he didn’t realize he was on a stealth date with Chan, because he was so used to doing the same things with Mark. Huh. Maybe Donghyuck should’ve caught on by the way Chan’s face fell when he suggested they hang out again--”but with Mark too,” Donghyuck had said obliviously--but he was too busy thinking about Mark to notice.  
  
In retrospect, Donghyuck was dumb. At least he’s self-actualized enough to actually admit it.

  
  
“Whatever happened with me and Chan--we weren’t--it was one time,” Donghyuck protests. “I didn’t even realize until Jaemin asked me about later, okay, because…” he trails off, embarrassed.  
  
“Because what?” Mark asks, biting down on his lower lip. It’s enough to divert Donghyuck’s attention for a moment.  
  
“Because, uh,” Donghyuck’s voice gets smaller and softer with each word. “Because--with Chan--I just did the same things I do,  _did,_ with you.”  
  
“Oh,” Mark says, sounding sheepish. He looks over at Donghyuck with a small smile. “Huh, I never thought about it like that.”  
  
Donghyuck’s starting to feel embarrassment creeping up on him, so of course he does the one thing he should probably never, ever do, and opens his mouth.  
  
“Did you ever think about my confession like that?” Donghyuck asks, regretting it as soon as he says the words  _‘my confession’_. It’s the one thing he’s thought about for the past eight months, through sleepless nights and groggy mornings and boring days in school. It’s the single most embarrassing Mark has on Donghyuck.  
  
Mark frowns, confused. “You confessed to me?” he asks incredulously, raising his perfectly-shaped eyebrows. “Was I there when it happened?”  
  
Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “Yes, you were there, you ass.” He can feel his cheeks reddening as he says, “You know--Jaemin’s birthday.”

  
  
Well, it wasn’t actually Jaemin’s birthday exactly--”there’s no way you’re sharing my birthday with your fucking anniversary,” Jaemin had retorted when Donghyuck and him planned all of this--but it was the Saturday afterwards. Far enough from Mark’s birthday to merit two parties, but close enough that no one tried too hard to cake Jaemin the way they had with Mark. Maybe everyone just knew that Mark was a pushover when it came to birthday pranks.  
  
Either way, Jaemin asked Mark to make popcorn on the stove, knowing fully well that Mark sucked at anything cooking related and that it would require someone else’s supervision--Donghyuck’s supervision.  
  
It was a pretty good plan, Donghyuck thought. All the hyungs and the rest of their friends were clustered together in the living room of Jaemin’s house, watching a Studio Ghibli film Yuta pirated off of his laptop and hooked up to the TV.  
  
Donghyuck was at the stove, listening to the popcorn pop. It wasn’t quite as bad as watching paint dry, but it was pretty close.  
  
Mark peered over his shoulder, interested. “How long will it take to be done?” he asked, voice right next to Donghyuck’s ear. It didn’t surprise Donghyuck, though; somehow, he had been able to anticipate Mark’s presence, like those blind sea creatures that somehow sense whatever’s around them by hearing at some strange high frequency.  
  
“Soon,” Donghyuck replied, breath catching in his throat. He turned to face Mark, and there they were together, so close he couldn’t think straight.  
  
“I love you,” Donghyuck said reflexively. “I mean. Um.” He just stared at Mark. They were still close enough to hear each other breathing.  
  
Mark’s face went from surprise to something much more unreadable and back, finally settling on disbelief. “You’re seriously the worst,” he said. Then he let out a chuckle, sounding kind of--odd.  
  
Donghyuck didn’t think much of it, though, too busy panicking over the fact that Mark said he was the worst and thought he was pranking him and  _God,_  this was the worst idea to have ever existed, screw the perfect planning of anniversaries.  
  
Thankfully, the popcorn decided at that exact moment to start exploding. By the time the two of them had settled down to watch the movie with the others, it was almost like the confession-went-wrong had never happened.  
  
Almost being the key word. For a few days afterward, Donghyuck sulked silently, which wasn’t unusual within itself. Mark and him bickered and squabbled often, and days following fights would usually follow the same pattern: Donghyuck would sulk silently, Mark would knock on his door a day or two later with store-bought cookies from Trader Joe’s, and they’d make up, splitting the cookies between themselves.  
  
In the week after Jaemin’s birthday party, Mark didn’t knock at his door. Eventually, Donghyuck gave up on expecting he would come.  
  
Instead, Donghyuck went to Trader Joe’s and bought the cookies himself.

  
  
  
“Oh,” Mark says, realization dawning on his face. He gets up suddenly from the swing and starts pacing in front of Donghyuck. “Oh--I always thought that, that you were making fun of me. That, um, you knew how I felt.” He stops pacing then, turning to look at Donghyuck for a split second before turning away, as if afraid of what expression he might find on Donghyuck’s face.  
  
_Oh._  Donghyuck is--he’s not as surprised as he thought he’d be, learning of Mark’s feelings. He almost feels calm, now, like everything right has finally been set in place.  
  
“How you felt?” Donghyuck asks, just for clarification. He kind of just wants to hear Mark say  _I like you_  out loud, the way he never thought he’d hear it.  
  
“I liked you,” Mark says helplessly, hope inside of Donghyuck growing and growing like a flower blooming after a long winter. “Like you,” he corrects. It feels like spring.

  
  
Maybe Donghyuck should’ve noticed it, if he was being more observant. Mark Lee liking him, that is, what the actual  _fuck_. Because everything, somehow, is clicking into place:  
  
That time Mark asked him if he liked anyone and he nervously replied with “anyone besides you, dumbass” and Mark looked distraught instead of amused;  
  
That time they watched a horror movie with the rest of the hyungs and Mark hid his face in Donghyuck’s shirt the entire time, their bodies curled around each other protectively;  
  
That time during a sleepover where Donghyuck borrowed one of Mark’s oversized shirts, Mark blushing so hard his ears were red;  
  
And that time that Donghyuck was ranting about Mark to the hyungs and Ten, exasperated, had said “just shut up and kiss already!”, the other hyungs slapping Ten upside the head because “you can’t rush endgame,” Taeyong had insisted.  
  
Donghyuck didn’t get it then, but he does now. This is it, isn’t it? The end of the game, the last level. And Donghyuck wants to  _win._

  
  
“Me too,” Donghyuck rushes out. Mark turns towards him again, the same disbelieving expression on his face. “I like you,” Donghyuck says firmly.  _Love you._  This is one thing that he wants Mark to trust in, to take faith in, to believe as the truth, because it is.  
  
“Past tense?” Mark asks warily. He makes his way back to the swing; it creaks as he sits down.  
  
“Present,” Donghyuck replies. “You--you too, right?”  
  
Mark nods tightly. He’s fighting a smile, and so is Donghyuck. They swing together lazily, the only noise the clanging of the rusted metal swings.  
  
Finally, Mark speaks up. He’s beaming, now. “We’re kinda idiots, huh,” he notes.  
  
Donghyuck reaches out with one hand and stops Mark’s swing; with the other hand, he reaches out and flicks Mark’s forehead gently.  
  
“Speak for yourself, dumbass,” Donghyuck says, rolling his eyes, but he can’t help it, the overwhelming happiness within him swelling in his chest. He grins back at Mark.  
  
Then, feeling almost unbearably nervous, Donghyuck leans over and kisses Mark’s forehead, on the spot he had flicked.

  
  
**mark:**  [image]  
**mark:**  :))))  
**jaemin:**  nO WAY  
**jeno:**  u owe me twenty bucks  
**donghyuck:**  you guys bet on this?? tf  
**taeyong:**  mark if you break donghyuck’s heart i will break you  
**mark:** ur my brother?? -_-  
**johnny:**  be safe kids  
**yuta:**  lmao  
**doyoung:**  shit i owe jeno $10  
**jaehyun:**  same  
**ten:**  same  
**kun:**  same  
**hansol:**  same  
**taeil:** When did you guys place bets on this? I had no idea  
**taeil:**  Congratulations! <3  
**chenle:**  no offense but  
**chenle:**  ew  
**jisung:**  ^^^  
**sicheng:**  i also owe jeno money TT_TT  
**yuta:**  lol same  
  


**Author's Note:**

> a/n: if u read this ily <333 have a nice day
> 
> tbh i love markhyuck so much
> 
> support nct dream
> 
> my twt is @markohmark_ say hi


End file.
